This post is absolutely pointless.

It's 3:14am and i'm going to bed.

Goodnight <3

I took this picture on the train coming home from Liverpool. Don't know why, i just really like it.

Well i think it has been a considerable amount of time since my last post. Prehaps now people ahve stopped reading. I kinda hope so. I don't know really.

An old one;

Oh, sir, i am sorry for making you wait
But you must know that Rebecca is wary
And nothing can stop her sir, not after all that has happened
And i apologise on her behalf

But i'm sure she doesn't mean it...

What happened to that lovely girl
With the face as round as a dinner plate
I heard she lost her mind
Oh, what a beautiful experience darling

But what happened to those nights
With the nights and the stars and the tears?
He came and took us away, sir, that's what happened

He took us away.

She always said she wanted to fly, sir
And those same old bones were boring her anyway...

<3

Goodnight

I love to write

In english today i realised how much i love to write. It just makes me feel so free and..i don't know. i love it. I meant to bring it home but i forgot.

I'm really not liking the heat. It makes me ill. gahh.

I don't think i've ever felt so...overwhelmed.
i'm kind of content at the moment. i think that's an appropriate word to describe how i'm feeling.

This has to be a short post, it's late and my mum is around.

i hide too much from her. i tried to stop lying to her but once you start it's hard to stop.

that's all for now i think

"So afraid she'll awake to find she's all alone"

I doubt anyone will read this. I'm sure people have stopped reading this blog, seeing as i haven't posted in so damn long. I think that's a very good thing.

I met Ema and Ruairi.
it was amazing
but it just made me realise, how fucking much i miss them. That's not a good thing.
Nothing has ever hurt so bad.
nothing i can remember anyway

i've realised i'm terrified of change. I could just say i'm terrified of losing people i love, of being alone, of growing up, but it's all change.
Hannah said to me the other day "The only permant thing in your life is change." That really really scared me, cause it's true i guess.
I feel misunderstood. and alone. quite pathetic aswell really.

And old habit seems to have popped up recently. I'm not too sure what i feel about that.

I'm not really too sure what to think about Dan's situation either. I'm terrified for him. I want him to be okay. So, so badly. Please try and talk to them Dan. I promise, it will help.

I love Counting Crows. They write extremely amazing lyrics.

I want to re-live today. I do but i don't. It's made me really really sad. I wonder what the point is in my even being here.

I have reached new-lows in my absence of self confidence. I just find myself comparing myself to others and telling myself how i could be better, like i'm always in competition with other people. and myself. mainly myself. I'm not sure i like myself too much. Maybe i should fix that...but that would mean change...which should be avoided at all costs...

*shrugs*
this blog is pointless.

I have lost all ways of expressing myself. And all ability of talking to someone.

Kayle is really, really happy. I'm jealous of him. I don't know why i'm not happy. i just don't feel very happy right now.

whatever

Happy 1st June <3

he told me, stealing other people's lines was not a crime, but an indulgence
that should not be taken so lightly
And then he said
"Both of you are living with hypocrisy's lament"
And then;
I spoke to Rebecca again, but i think she is moving
A few months away from the anger will rot her soul
But prehaps she will have a rest from the melancholic addictions
And anyway,

she told me the colour was running out.
But that's not the end,
there is always some more, and some more, and some more
Her hand clasps like elastic; oh how i love it

That night on the edge of the cliff with the light and the stars and the music
but that is all i can offer you today, sir

Oh! Elizabeth, your cheekbones are the definition of beauty,
but won't you stop with those words

Forget it, Lizzie dearest,

Happy Birthday <3


I hope everyone had a good day. I definately did, just not so much at the moment.

Oh well, i should quite moaning.



hannah

I know i haven't posted in a while. I've written blogs but saved them as edits, so i have still been writing. Not that that makes any difference.

I thought today would be a good day when i woke up, it was sunny and usually that makes me feel better, but when i got up tiny little things seemed to make me angry. The cat, for example.

Today i'm going to the park with Lauren and maybe Kt. I'll most definately be taking some photos. I hope we go to the reservoir again. I'd like to be allwed to go there on my own. tough shit huh

Anyways, i'm starting to wonder if this blog has a purpose. What's the point in having a blog without a purpose? Just for a general..talking i guess. Whatever

Have a nice day


hannah