"I don't want to guess, i just want to know."

This has to be a new start. I need to write this for myself.
I need some kind of, outlet.
I always go back to old ways, old habits, old things that should be changed and i promise i will, but i always go back to routine.
I must promise myself.
I will write the blog for myself.
I will not write so it sounds good, i will write what i need to.
Or what i want to.
I will not refrain from posting certain things as they may offend certain people.
This is for myself after all, no one else.

I love that i am young. I love that i believe in love. I believe in soul mates. I believe in those things more than anything else. There are things that come and go, but i think soul mates and love is just a given.
*that should be are

I think the one thing i'm scared of is looking back and laughing at who i was then/who i am now. Who's to say when i'm older, i won't belive in true love and soul mates? I'm scared i will stop loving the world and everything in it, i am scared that i will laugh at how naive i was, but deep down i will know that it is so much better to be naive and belive in those things than not believe at all.

I'll always belive in God. prehaps THAT'S a given.For me?

I'm scared i talk about myslsef too much. Everyone talks about themselves don't they? I always have so much to say about what i think.

this blog feels different. Like i'm actually talking in my head, getting my thoughts out. It feels good. Different.


I am quite scared of hurting you. Your friend jokingly-threatened me. I wish i could trust you to keep what i tell you to yourself.

I must keep this up. I must keep writing for myself. I hope this feeling hasn't changed by tomorrow.

Maybe no one reads this, maybe it's just like talking to myself. It feels kind of strange then. Like i'm two people. But i'm talking to myself. How strange. I think i really need this.

That's all for now i think.

I'm on webcam and i'm pretty sure i have a very in-depth thinking face on. How stupid of me ;)

I was thinking something before that i wanted to write about but i have forgotten it now.

That is all.
Go to bed.



<3